like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
