My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
