You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
