So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
