She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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