And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
