I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
