she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
