Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
