I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
