I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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