They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
