I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
