They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
