Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
