You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
