who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
