I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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