There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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