My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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