Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
