Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
