Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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