Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
