That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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