The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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