I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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