I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
