Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
