Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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