there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize