he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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