so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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