I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
