did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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