The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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