i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize