Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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