So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
