I skipped work to stalk him.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
