I bet he comes in French.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
