operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
