It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
