just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
