How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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