There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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