did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
