There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I didn't notice because vodka
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
