so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
