Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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