so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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