I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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