Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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