If that was your dad, he is hot
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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