There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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