if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
