When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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