Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize