My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
