Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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