i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
