I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
