How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize